Now, stand up.

Disappointed.

There's no pain quite like disappointment. Especially when you are disappointed in yourself. Oh boy does my heart feel heavy and ache in all the wrong (and by that I mean very sensitive) places. I feel as if this year is the year of disappointment and regret. Ha sounds sad. But at the moment I do feel a bit blue. At least that's my favorite color. Yes... the bright side of things during this somber time of my life.

I am making the same mistakes over and over again. Hence my somber state. I know what to do but I choose not to do it because I know it takes far too much effort to even begin. So foolish of me, I know.

It seems as if every Sunday I make new resolutions to become a better person in every area of my life. School, studies, exercise, character, attitude, daughter, friend, etc. BUT the troubling matter is I am still the same ol' me. I don't know where I am going with this but dang, I really want to do my best in everything. Especially school because I don't give an arse.

Anyways, enufff with the blues.

Tomorrow is a new day and also the first day of summer session.
Wahoo! I have hope and faith that things will work out perfectly fine. Although my mind is frazzled and my heart is weakening by the second, I will fight for joy and humble myself to become the best for Him.

Oh be gone disappointment! Away with you.

Please?

Love,
me.

Devil, not on my watch.

Letting go is the easy part.

It's the moving on that's painful.

Don't ask me what's wrong, ask me what's right.

I have this annoying habit of playing songs I really really enjoy on repeat for the following two weeks. I do it until I know every last word and every dip and low and high and zzziing of the song. When we were younger my brother used to always complain about it and mutter mean things to me but never did I care. I shall continue to spoil myself in this way. Anyways my current annoying habit is stuck on, Carried to the Table by Leeland

I don't know why I am inclined to such sappy/emo Christian songs. But I just love them! 

I need to fix my stock lens or purchase a new one because my hands are bored. iPhone I accept you and you are highly commendable but I must revert to my ol' pal. Hmm... I do think it is time to invest in a new lens. Yay there goes $500+. 

Today was a day of acceptance. Today I have come to accept the way things are. Someone once said, "You are exactly where God wants you to be." I never quite believed that until today. Until I realized I've been working hard to get to where I thought I needed to be, when where I need to be is right here. Right here and right now. Of course there's a great great great part of me that needs restoration and improvement but I will no longer push myself and freak out. I am going to learn to be still. I am going to learn to be like a child and trust in Him. It's odd really because I know all these things and much more in my head but my heart never accepted it. Today I have accepted. Right now I am accepted.

It's something the human mind cannot register fully. We can never understand why we are accepted and how... but we totally are. Completely. It's a beautiful thing you know. It's beautiful to be accepted by The Creator. He accepts me for the way I am. The stupid and bratty girl that I am. 

So many things are changing (excessively at times to the point where I become a mindless nutso).

I always get strangely excited for the next day. Maybe because itsaaa new one and unpredictable as well. Hee I'm so mysterious. Just kidding. Dumb.

Good night. 

You are accepted.

Love,
me.

Happy hump day!

phisshh tail and bright button ups.