Nose dive.

The troubling matter of it all is that I know better.
Wrongs and rights, the good and the bad. It is understood.
There is so much in me that wants to quit. There is just something so bad that is hovering over me. I see so much around me, but I cannot seem to see the magnitude of my sweet worthy God. I see my flaws, my failures, my hopelessness, my sins. They are all mine. I repeatedly, day after day, claim the bad as my own. I see myself and I am filled with so much shame.

I know I am in a season of nothingness. I know God is making me into nothing so that He can create something beautiful from within. But lately, in a matter of minutes, I lose all my hope and strength. I guess the trouble there is that I count the hope and strength as my own. I give myself credit for what I am capable of and altogether I just end up losing. Who knew becoming nothing would suck this much?

My struggle-
I know so well all the things I am not good for. But I wish I could know all that I am/mean to Him.

I need to be wrapped in Your arms Jesus.
There is nowhere for me to go.
I choose you.
________________________

Highlights of the week:

1) Thursday's noon surprise. Flattering moment. But you know, people are never really how you imagine they ought to be. I'll admit, it was fun though.

2) Friends. Whether or not I choose to spill my guts or keep quiet, I always take comfort in their company. Which makes zeee days ahead of me a bit brighter.

3) I love baseball players. Especially if they can hit a massive tree coupled with a home-run.

4) Sunday. The Church. I love.

5) E.Hong likes to say "faut" rather than fat because it sounds less mean (laughter took a toll on my ribs today).

Love me.