Enchanté.

I know myself and this is not settling, it's actually recognizing the quiet, the stillness, the background. It's more than recognition, it's appreciation. It's being able to finally commend the humble, the patient, and the gentle.

Last night I have come to this realization and I commend you, I appreciate you. From the smallest gestures to the grand, it has been nothing but a pleasure. I've always tried to make it about the little things, but for the first time I don't need to force this effort, it is just easy with you.

Extra xo's

Begin again

We tell stories and you don't know why
I'm coming off a little shy
But I do
---
And for the first time
What's past is past.

Befall.

Learning more about myself and I'm not liking it one bit. There's just so much of me that needs fixing and changing that I get intimidated by it all. There are always standards. And to discover that I am so far from those standards not only hurts to digest but it has left me like a wounded puppy. Lame and damaged. Haha. But praise the Lord for He has not left me helpless. Help is on the way and help is here. Now, if only I would take the time to receive the healing, pruning, and breaking...

I want so much to change from the inside out. But mostly I find myself scrambling for methods on how to change. Too much speculating and not enough doing. Damn that always gets to me. My Faith and Deeds. Yes, oh yes.

Inside my heart God I long to know you. More and more.
I love you more each year. Thank you for that. Thank you for allowing me to know you better each day regardless of what I have done.

And with that, Happy New Year to you all.

Love an,
Anxious, torn, and excited Christine.

All I have is a promise like a thread.

All I know is, He said He'll come back again.

It's the little things.

Been too busy cramming these last minute assignments, quizzes, and exams before thanksgiving break. Also, before my brother's wedding. What the heck. I know righhhtt? Anyways when I think about all that I have to do within the next 4 weeks I get a headache and I so wish I could just close my eyes and teleport to a deep luscious green forest filled with butterflies, blue streams, and wild brown/chocolate horses. Yeah none of those sound like they can cooperate with the other but in my mind it's super nice haha.

Today, like right now... I really appreciate laughter. It's the best remedy for anything. Aside from Jesus of course. Even though most of my dayss circulate around my school crap (hehe dung), God always manages to give me those special moments of genuine joy. Today I laughed a lot. I will never forget how to laugh. It's very important you know. So if you haven't laughed in the past hour- laugh. I dare ya. Anyways as well as appreciating laughter, I appreciate my friends that laugh with me and at me. Which brings me to another point- God thank you for giving me friends that are strange and amusing and fun and extraordinary.

I really should be studying but I don't want to anymore. I'm sick of you! Oho I will regret this very soon. Who gives an exam on Saturday morning anyways?! Aiyiyiiii :(

I'll end this post with a picture of my teensy-weensy self:

Clapping and errrything ha ha

Share a laugh or a silly photo.

Love love,

me.

Falling

Fall is here- naked trees, grey skies, beanies, camo, & parking lot pimpin'.

I find myself looking back at my life just a year ago and I freak out a little bit because so much has happened within the past 10-12 months. Time went by so fast. Dah! It's no joke. Time is no joke. I feel as if the past three months went into super-accelerated mode. I can't even recollect what happened two weeks ago. This makes me sad. Today it hit me again. Like a ton of bricks. (Did I get that saying right?) TIME IS SO PRECIOUS. The most precious thing you can give to a loved one is your time. Time is so important. When I look back on who I've spent the most time with and who I gave my heart the most to... I wish so much that I could say Jesus and my parents. Sadly sadly sadly I can't even say either. I spend so much time on myself and my own priorities that I get consumed by work work work work work work work. And I'm left with nothing but my works. I need to quit being so passive with everything in my life. I've always envied those that are passionate and just so berserk at that one thing. I want to go berserk about sommmeethingg.

Anyways, the main point is I need to begin with generosity. Generosity with my time, money, and heart (compassion). I need to learn to give my time to my parents, my Savior, my friends, and my talents. I've been so childish/senseless with my decisions and my heart/attitude. I always say I need to change this/that about myself, but there's so much to work on that it gets too overwhelming to even begin. Haha sad. So easy and painless to pick out my weaknesses but it's sucha struggle to get in that active mode of striving to become what God wants me to be. Gotta get this ball rollin'.


"You are not loved because of what you have done, you are loved because you exist."- Pastor Joon
Food for thought.

Love,
me.

May Your eyes find

this heart loyal to You.